I Did It

Sunday night we finished watching '21 Jump Street' which is an okay movie; funny in parts and I may of had an extra long giggle in some parts but you know I am more of an action chick. Cannot wait for 'Wrath of the Titans'!

I wandered into JBHIFI and found a pile of BluRays with the 'Buy 2 Get 1 Free' sticker. I went a hunting. I grabbed about six. James grabbed three that he would get. I merged them together and came out with 'Brothers', 'Law Abiding Citizen' and 'Zombieland'.

I promise that there is a point to this post.

So we watched 'Zombieland' because it was my choice in movie. We were watching and I fell in love with Emma Stone's haircut. You know, the blunt fringe.

I asked James if I should do it. I get a yeah, sure-esq response. I pose the question on twitter and instagram and receive a resounding yes, that I could totally pull it off.

Monday morning rolls around and the apartment I was supposed to look at was cancelled by the real estate. So I move Tuesday afternoons hair appointment to eleven in the morning.

I has a blunt fringe.

I don't feel me. Yet.

It is still growing on me. I am so not used to seeing myself with a fringe and kept attempting to move my hair yesterday, incredibly used to having a side fringe.

I posted a picture on facebook, twitter and instagram and you all seem to love it. James said that he did too. Which may have made me blush and get a massive smile.

Then Sass informs me that she has the same haircut; I would link back to previous posts where we have been wearing almost identical outfits, and so on but they would be on the old blogs. Great minds think alike! We are twins! I must say it does look pretty awesome on her.

ps. Sass was smiling in this photograph then moved *facepalm*

Hello Motivation

I was laying on the couch on Sunday at James'; talking to each other when he picked up my phone and started snapping photographs. I dare say he was mimicking me as I am forever wanting to take a photograph of us. He is not always so compliant so I have a few grumpy, eye-rolling, and funny faces of us together which is known as 'Carly-attempted-to-take-a-photograph-with-James'. That's okay, they are memories. Which is why I like taking photographs.

Anywho, back to me laying on the couch.

I was wearing a black cap sleeve top with my grey shorts. Nothing fancy. I've recently had a few outbreaks of pimples and so my face was red from a squeezing frenzy. Not feeling overly sexy, but I didn't feel terrible.

He finished snapping the photographs.

A while after I looked at the said photographs.

I think something along the lines of I look fat/terrible/etc came out of my mouth. He immediately extinguished these phrases telling me that I looked the opposite. Then it is said, if I am not happy with myself then why aren't I doing something.

And really why the fuck aren't I?

Nothing will change unless I want it to. I keep eating takeaway. I keep not going to the gym. So realistically I am never going to feel great about myself until I start eating better and getting my body moving.

I had motivation at the beginning of the year and it disappeared. Time to find it again.

It is not about being happy at a certain size, it is about me being happy with myself.

There it is. Hello motivation.

WIAW: Outfit One

I am at home; gathering all the documents to send off for rental applications, listening to my fridge beep. It is incredibly annoying. Why is it beeping? Well that's simple, the idiot who came to clean my mould opened my freezer for whatever reason and left it OPEN. So now it has been open for an entire week (because this is the first time I have been home since Saturday last weekend) and I don't even want to know how ruined my food is.

Anyway; this is the first outfit I wore today:

Navy dress from ModCloth (a staple in my wardrobe); Brown bag from Forever New; Turquoise + brown bangles from Forever New; Pandora stackable rings; Turquoise + brown I Love Billy ballet flats.

Oh No

I am known for getting my hopes up. It is something that I do. I found a rental property the other day that I fell in love with. It would be perfect for me. Absolutely perfect.

Yesterday morning we left to go and look at it. It is bigger then what I live in at the moment. Sure I would need to buy a fridge, washing machine and lounge but that's okay. I want to start moving towards a bigger place, and it's only a one bedroom place.

The bad thing is that there are at least fifty people looking at it.

She informs us that she already has received applications; I am gobsmacked. She informed me that she would not take applications yet she said she had them. That made me a little annoyed. We waited until the last few but it seemed that a few others had the same idea.

I walked over and handed her my application form, already filled out with everything attached, and explained who I was, as in the person who had sent her emails during the week. She vaguely remembered. I got the feeling that she probably won't even look at my application and that makes me a little upset.

There were other properties I wanted to look at but I had to go home to wait for Samsung to fix my television. They said they would be out between 12pm and 5pm.

But there was a rental property, again one bedroom but over two levels, near where I live now. James happily stayed at my house while I went over and looked. It was nice. I was one of about fifteen or so. Not very many.

I would really like one of these places. The first one more so. Cross your fingers for me?

Oh and Samsung never turned up. Just in case you were wondering so still no television.



ps. I have no fingernails, they are all bitten off. I guess I am a little stressed over this 'finding a new place' thing.

A Moment

This afternoon I received a text message from James telling me he had locked himself out. Since he left his keys at my house on Saturday and this was his spare he had locked inside, he would need to either come and get my key or go to my house and get his keys.

Earlier in the day he asked if I was coming over tonight; since it was a staff meeting night and I didn't finish until almost nine at night I said that I would come over tomorrow night. Kinda wishing that right now in this moment, that I had gone over though. Anywho.

So when I check my phone and see three messages from him, I wondered what had happened. He asked if he could come and get my key from me; of course I reply back and tell him to message me when he arrives at my work.

In that moment, when I received that text, oh boy was I excited. I almost couldn't believe how excited I was. I normally get excited when I get to his house, but it is different. It's more like excited butterflies, but this was just plain excitement. Like bounce up and down excited. Again, anywho.

I gave him his key. Kissed him. Hugged him. Spoke. Kissed him again. Spoke again. Kissed again. I think that was repeated another few times. In that moment, I didn't want him to go. I asked if he wanted to stay at mine but he has interviews in the morning.

God he looked sexy too.

Made. My. Night.

Living Alone

I have almost lived alone in this little studio for a year. I haven't loved the year because of the mould and my not-so-great living buddies [re: creepy crawlies that have six or eight legs!] But there have been some things that it has made me realise.

I can and will kill a six or eight-legged animal if I need to. Or I will at least attempt to with a lot of squealing involved, and jumping too. If James is here though, that is his job.

I can sing loudly. And not worry I will wake someone or that they will hear me.

I am scared of the dark. While I need complete darkness to fall asleep, I will at times grab my iPhone and use it like a torch.

I don't like cooking for one person. I will happily cook when I am at James' or back at home. Just not when it is just for me I will use every excuse I can think of.

I like having alone time. Since I am a major overthinker it gives me time to be inside my own head and analyse myself. Sometimes it can have a negative impact but other times it allows me to figure out more about me.

I have furniture that I like. My bed, I chose it. My picture of paris with the balloons, yep I picked that baby out too. My doona cover with all the pretty flowers, awesome huh? I picked that too. I like that I am finding my interior design style.

I could turn the teevee on at any time. Not so much at the moment, but those times when I would wake up in the middle of the night, I would definitely turn the teevee on to assist me in falling back asleep.

I can fall asleep with no one else in the house. The whole reason why I wanted a studio is because I was terrified of being alone at night. Yes, even at twenty-three I would get myself into such a state where I would hyperventilate because I was so damn scared. Mind you, I also tend to wake up very easily. Like when the neighbours walk through the hall.

I don't like cleaning. Unless I really have to.

I like being able to walk around the house naked. This is only done for a very short period of time; when I undress say in my room and then walk into my shower. Oh yes, I'm brave.

I'm not-so-great at finances. I always thought I could manage my finances if I really wanted to, it seems I really don't want to. But it has taught me a lot.

I would love a pet. As much as I would love a kitty-cat or a puppy, I am thinking of a bird. I absolutely adore my little sister's bird. So much so that I would birdnapp him and make him live with me.

This post was inspired by Brittonie from Through My Own Looking Glass who wrote a similar post.

NEEDIT

I love shopping. If there is a shopping centre nearby you can bet that I have been in there and bought something whilst I was there.

It is something that I do for fun, it makes me happy.

So this morning whilst James was still sound asleep, as he has been most mornings since he stays up until the early hours of the morning, I decided to window shop.

This is generally a bad idea for me, because it just makes me want more and more things. Things being clothes, shoes, handbags, and the list goes on.

Instead of seeing it as a waste of time, I saw it as an opportunity to refine my needit list. Not things that I necessarily want, but things that I need so that way I can build my wardrobe. I plan to declutter my wardrobe again in March and eBay the items that I don't need or want or use anymore.

:: Nude wedges; I need these while I am still learning to walk in my pumps. Perfect pair from Wittner $129.95 [and I own them already in black!]

:: A black jacket; I don't actually own a black jacket that is this cute and warm. My goodness was this Portmans Ponti Tie Waist Coat warm when I tried it on today. It has an almost $200 price tag though; but would totally be a staple to my wardrobe.

:: Bright coloured ballet flats; I never really got into the whole colour blocking trend, but with winter coming you need something to brighten your day and why not add some colour to your feet. Rubi shoes have a range of coloured little beauties for quite cheap too!

:: A drape-like cardi; Sportsgirl* has the perfect one. I'm actually leaning towards the ox-blood coloured one. However I am sure I could easily find a home for all three. Has pockets too!

:: A white coloured blouse; think sheer and team it with almost any denim piece in the wardrobe, in particular the skinny jeans. Glassons have me sold with their 3/4 Sleeve Slouch Blouse [I did find some others in store today but I can't seem to find them on the site and this one is equally awesome!]

That's it. I think by creating a list of five it makes it a little more achievable for me.

* Sportsgirl don't allow links; silly huh. It's in their knitwear section.

It's All About Perception

I don't have the best relationship with my body; I tried very hard at the end of last year and the beginning of this year with Julie Parker from Beautiful You to work on this and realise that it doesn't matter what size I am just as long as I am happy with me.

I have my good and great days and then I have days that are on the complete opposite and I feel very crappy and down about myself, and my body. You hear people talking about their bodies in their thirties, forties and even later in their lives and they wonder why they spent their twenties analysing every lump, bump and line; and being very honest with you my body isn't that bad, but it is my perception of my body that sucks.

It is so skewed from the media and being told by those that I consider being very close to that it is not good enough, or that I need to lose a few kilograms, or that I don't exercise and move enough. That I am lazy. That it  is my fault. I look at women as they pass me in the street and I am slowly stopping myself from looking at their bodies and wishing I had their body shape; rather I am beginning to look at their clothes and have shopping envy, however that is another post in itself.

So how does one change a perception that you have been told from five, or possibly even younger?

It scares me because I don't know. Exercising and eating right while it helps me feel healthy, it doesn't change my ideas and thoughts about this body of mine.

Slowly and over time I will break these stupid habits that I have had inbuilt into me; and I just hope that when I have children and specifically a little girl, that she doesn't grow up with these ideas and thoughts on what an ideal body is.

I Love Cuddles

Cuddles are awesome. I absolutely adore cuddles. So today as one of the children came in from lunch and he was walking over to his bed; his foot became tangled in the cord of the sleeping bag. He stopped and waited for me to untangle him. Uber cute.

Anyway so he began to walk back towards his bed and I asked, "Can I have a cuddle?" He stopped and walked back towards me and stood on the other side of the bed. I then picked him up and he wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a cuddle. Even rested his head on my shoulder.

Was very sweet and almost made me cry.