I Missed My Cuddles

I love him, a lot. He makes me incredibly happy and I can honestly say that I have never felt like this before. It is an amazing feeling.

I love cuddles. The past week I had been craving them a little. I didn't see James on the weekend because he had his house to clean and I had mine to clean. Oh what fun that was.

We discussed earlier that he would be going to the Dawn Service in the early hours on Wednesday morning, whilst I would be tucked up in bed. However he was sick. I think it was Monday night when he asked me what he could use for his throat, and I explained that I left my Betadine throat gargle there. I then asked if I should come over Tuesday night for Wednesday and he was still set on attending with his boss.

I figured I could clean up my new apartment and get ready for all the final things to be moved in. Not much to go now!

Wednesday morning I watched 'Game of Thrones' newest episode and when it finished he was calling. It was just after eight thirty and I assumed he had just woken back up or just getting home. He hadn't gone at all, rather he had slept through the entire night and felt much better.

That was when I said we could still go to the football. He declined that, but said we could go to the movies. I jumped at the chance and looked at what was on; I wasn't sure if 'The Avengers' was out or not, even if he did think it was.

I quickly got dressed. Put on my little black dress; it is the cutest tulip style dress and was perfect for covering my bloatedness and wrapped my ox blood red cardi. I then added my pearls and white ballet flats for good measure. Black and white with a splash of red. I was certainly dressed to impress him and it made me wonder if anyone else makes an effort when they are seeing their partner.

I arrived there and was so incredibly happy to see him. I went straight in for my hug. We hugged, kissed and then hugged and kissed some more. He then went to move away, when I was still holding on tightly. He laughed and said, "Not ready yet?" I said a certain nope. Even if it had only been a week and a half, I missed my cuddles. I always feel incredibly safe and loved in his arms, its a nice feeling.

Ahh, love.

The Pill

The other day at work, we were discussing the pill. One of the girls is pregnant, but needed to use IVF to fall pregnant and her doctor thinks that she had so many issues falling pregnant because of the pill, because she had been on it for years. As in over ten years before she went off it.

Insert panic here.

I have been on the pill since I was seventeen [was actually just before my seventeenth birthday when I first started taking it]. I went on it for a couple of reasons, one being the big one, for contraception and the other because my period was a nightmare. I had severe cramps and they were not always on time, not that I really gave them much of a chance. I was one of the lucky ones, I didn't get my period until I was fourteen and it was the end of November. Oh boy do I remember that day.

So, I turn twenty-five in a few short months that means that I have been on the pill for eight years. Eight years my body has been filled with hormones and for eight years I have had the option to skip a period or two.

I decided that I need to give my body a break. I need to see if my period will become regular again on its own. I probably wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the girls at work telling me that I really should, you know, just in case when I do want to have a little bubba I can't or that it is harder because I was on the pill for so damn long. That is something that already worries me, never being able to conceive.

Anywho, so I will be finishing the pill up this week. I did a quick call out via twitter, regarding if I should consult with my doctor when doing this and all of you said no. I am not on it for any medical reasons, so rather then taking the next lot of pills just after my period I won't be.

If you have any advice, I am all ears.

Sunday Thoughts

I found Friday Thoughts on 'oh antipodes!' the blog of the lovely Jade [who has had more blogs then me!] and felt that I should do it every Sunday.

Currently loving that Damon and Elena are finally figuring it out. I may or may not have a soft spot for Damon.

Currently thinking about work.

Currently anticipating the arrival of my bargain lounge! I'm incredibly excited.

Currently listening to Gotye and Kimbra singing 'Somebody That I Used to Know'.

Currently watching season two of Games of Thrones. I had some catching up to do without the interwebs and only watched my important shows, like Grey's Anatomy.

Currently wishing I could snap my fingers and my apartment would be clean.

I'm Such A Romantic

A while ago I purchased the miniprints from Printsagram. I was incredibly delighted when they arrived and had printed off a bunch of photographs, and I also noticed at how many photographs I take of myself. I promise I am not vain.

Anyway, I had photographs printed off of James and I.

I put one in his wallet, before he went out one night, this one, because it was such a funny moment. Then added a pretty one too. Just for good measure and I have the one of him saying 'I Love You'.

As for the rest of our photographs; right from the first night he stayed over, including text messages and tweets, as well as photographs of us or our nights out; I made this:

Cute huh?

I'm such a romantic.

Sunday Thoughts

I found Friday Thoughts on 'oh antipodes!' the blog of the lovely Jade [who has had more blogs then me!] and felt that I should do it every Sunday.

Currently loving my pink polka dot dress. I love that it is so bright. I feel so cute when I wear it.

Currently thinking about James, again. I know the same as last Sunday but this time he is asleep in my bed whilst I am wide awake. I just can't stop thinking about the smile on his face last night when I told him that the first night he stayed over I thought he looked incredibly sexy.

Currently anticipating the moment when everything is packed away and I can start making my place my home.

Currently listening to a plane flying over. It's funny because I don't always notice them but they fly over quite frequently.

Currently watching Grey's Anatomy; I am patiently waiting for the newest episode as I type.

Currently wishing I had money, lots and lots of money.

I Fear I Am Going To End Up Bald

I stress. I create stress and I allow it to consume me.

There are moments when it becomes too much for me and I breakdown, crying. I know that I am being irrational, another of my issues where I overthink things until they become a massive problem which results in stress. It is one cycle that I am desperate to break.

On the weekend, I was on the phone to Telstra for the last time. I was cancelling my account and going to have to pay an almost two hundred dollar fee to do so; but I figured it would be cheaper then the nearly three hundred phone connection.

The guy I spoke to was nice. He offered to waive the fee. I became a little cranky and upset. I explained I have already gone with another provider because all the other sales representatives that I spoke to, even one in the cancellation department never once said it was possible, rather that I would have to pay it.

I began to cry. I tried extremely hard to not let him hear me, but he more then likely did. He sounded a little concerned. But it just became too much. Another bill that I would have to pay in a month when I already have four piled up, along with having to pay two rents in one week.

I cried on the phone to James. Was a complete sobbing mess. Lucky for me he knows how to calm me down. Sometimes I just need to hear that voice of reason explaining to me that I am overreacting and that it will be okay.

I know what I need to do. I just need to stop putting it off.

I need to create lists and cross off things one by one. Reducing the amount of things to do and get done, and therefore reducing my stress.

Otherwise I fear I am going to end up bald. Serious. I lose so much hair I am beginning to wonder if it is normal.

Let The Hunger Games Begin

On Saturday I asked my sister if she felt like going to the movies, I received a less then excited response. I tell her to pick a movie.

'21 Jump Street' or 'The Hunger Games'.

I've already seen '21 Jump Street' but would like to go see 'The Hunger Games' I explain. Done, it is settled.

We arrived a little earlier so we looked in a few shops however nothing was to my sisters taste. Her asking if there was a Supre nearby; rather me attempting to get her to buy decent clothes.

I buy the tickets and a popcorn, ice cream [from Ben & Jerry's of course!] and two drinks. We then settle in for the movie.

I am excited. I only just finished reading the book and I loved the book; so much so that I purchased the next one and am already reading it.

I loved the movie, not as much as the book but I loved it still. Sure there were differences but that's okay. Not as big as the difference between book and movie for 'My Sister's Keeper' that change I still cannot accept.

The movie put me on Team Gale. Throughout the book I didn't care for Gale; he didn't seem like he cared enough for Katniss, whilst Peeta was in love with her and had been since he was five. That story totally got me, speaking about how his dad was in love with her mum and so on; the story that the movie didn't include in it's full form. So whilst reading the book, I was angry at Katniss for not really liking Peeta and was on Team Peeta.

Now I am all confused.

So that's that. I liked 'The Hunger Games' both the movie and the book; but I am glad that I read the book first.

Oh Boy, I Love Him, A Lot

Last Monday afternoon I stayed back at work. After having my week off on holidays and moving that weekend I had a tonne of programming to get done. So I stayed back until the centre closed at six thirty at night.

James called me and said he was just on his way home from the shopping centre, getting groceries. I was under the impression his home and made a comment that I wished that he was still at mine. He apologised that he wasn't and we continued to talk.

He said he would call me when he got home; I thought he meant I would call him. When he called back a few moments later we talked briefly, including him telling me no takeaway for dinner, and I said how I would be home closer to seven at night. I was then offered a lift so I was home a little earlier.

In the car with my coworker I discussed how I would have liked to have him there tonight, but I guess it would be okay.

I look up and see he left the lights on for me. That's sweet I think.

As I am walking up the stairs I am contemplating what I can get delivered. Pizza will do I think.

I put my key in the door and there he is, standing in my kitchen cooking me dinner.

I smiled, a big smile. I was extremely happy to see him and was incredibly surprised. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him.

Oh boy, I love him, a lot.

Hello, My Name Is...

Carly and I bite my nails.

It is not something I am proud of. I hate when I realise I am doing it because it is often when I have only bitten down too far that I realise I am biting my nails.

I have tried that horrible tasting stuff; I scrape it off with my teeth then continue to bite.

I have had my hands whipped out of my mouth by family and friends; this is the most effective to date. Except they aren't around all the time.

I have been told when I am doing it; again this too is quite effective but you guys forget too and when I don't even know I am doing it how am I meant to tell myself.

I grew my nails for most of the beginning of the year; by my own accord and determination because I don't want to have no nails anymore. As I reach my twenty-fifth birthday I want to have nails that I can paint pretty colours on and then my fingers will look long and lean.

But each time my nails grew they would break. So I bought a nail strengthener. It helped, sort-of but I noticed that I would use my teeth to 'clean' under the nail. Disgusting I know but it was all I had when I was so used to biting them.

Today they are sore. I have bitten them down too far.

Last night it hurt to push the button on my iPhone. Yes, that single, circular button made my fingers ache as I pushed it in to exit an app.

I will stop biting my nails and I will break this habit.

Honest.



ps. Yes they are my nails taken on 08.04.2012

Sunday Thoughts

I found Friday Thoughts on 'oh antipodes!' the blog of the lovely Jade [who has had more blogs then me!] and felt that I should do it every Sunday.

Currently loving the above photograph of myself. It made me fall in love with my hair cut and made me feel me; something I hadn't been feeling since my hair had been done. I think since the fringe has grown a little I am becoming more used to it.

Currently thinking about the boyfriend. He went back home this weekend where he has shitty reception so we only talk via the book or twitter. I love the little messages that I get and become extremely excited when I see a new one. Except this morning I left my phone in my room and missed him by a few minutes which has left me thinking about him.

Currently anticipating the moment when I will be able to buy a lounge and have my debts paid off. Oh my gawd that will feel awesome.

Currently listening to the traffic outside my window; no seriously it is loud. I wish I had realised this before I signed a twelve-month lease. Music wise I have on my playlist Adele, Ed Sheeran, Christina Perri, Kimbra and Gotye.

Currently watching Grey's Anatomy; I love watching each episode hours after it airs. I have not missed an episode and is what I watched Friday night after the Easter Show.

Currently wishing I wasn't so bad with money. It is a habit I created and one that I need to change, quickly.

Happy Easter!

So yesterday at the Easter Show we walked past the face painting stalls. I knew that I wanted my face painted, since I was there unwillingly.

But I couldn't decide if I wanted to be a kitty cat or bunny rabbit. Twitter and facebook were asked for opinions and I was set on a kitty cat by the end of that.

As I am in line; the girl asks me what I want and I blurt out a rabbit; but just whiskers and the nose. I don't want the whole shebang. She looks at me a little weirdly; I didn't want my whole face covered just a cute little touch.

Even as I sat down a wave of embarrassment came over me; the lady who painted my face questioned my decision. Yes I was sure that was all I wanted. Sheesh.

Once she finished and she showed me I smiled. I was a bunny rabbit. Just missing my ears. Awesome.

As we were walking around the children would smile at me; whilst adults would give me strange looks. Oh well.

By the end of the night I was a little sad to see my bunny face disappear; I felt incredibly cute by the end of it.

Happy Easter!

Annoyed and Stressed

Yesterday was an overly stressful day.

Work was an absolute nightmare.

There were some pretty awesome moments in there, like when the children had finished digging up their fossils and they exclaimed with delight before naming their dinosaur; or when I received a ten minute cuddle from my little man who I love to death in the afternoon just before I was about to leave. The moment he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes it makes me instantly relax and forget about the day.

I arrived home to my little sister, who is staying with me for an entire week. I began to organise with her friends father what was going to happen with the girls for the Easter Show and discover he wasn't actually going to stay with them at the show, but if he needed to he could. I'm sorry but they are fourteen and I don't think they should be going to the show alone, particularly when they are not from Sydney. So because of his lassez faire parenting style, I said that I would take them. Even though I was really looking forward to a day off from my sister over my long weekend.

So today we are going to the show. They want to get there about lunchtime. Fine, I say. Then I am informed they want to stay until the fireworks. Not a bloody chance, I say. I will want to be heading back home at seven. My sister began to chuck an 'its-not-fair' campaign and I stop her; we have to walk home from Central station and it is already dark by six, so no, we will not be staying until nine or later, I respond. Then I get an 'oh'.

I honestly don't think she realises distance.

Then I am asked to take her shopping at Penrith. Um, sweetheart, I live in the city. Why on Earth would you want to go west to go shopping?!

That's where I am at. Annoyed. Incredibly fucking annoyed that I don't get to relax for even one day on my four day weekend.

Oh and I haven't even finished unpacking yet!

WIAW: Outfit Two

So a while ago I posted my first outfit of the day; later that night we went out to dinner and this is what I wore:

'Ox Blood Red' sweater dress from Sportsgirl; black three quarter length tights; and my black patent wedges from Wittner.